More to life

Travels through infertility, IVF and workplace rage


10dp5dt.  FRER BFN.  AF.

Not much else to say.


The wait continues

Today is 9dp5dt.  In theory I could test and get a pretty accurate result.  Our OTD was supposed to be Friday (11dp5dt) but we can’t make that day now as OH will be away.  I’ve also decided that I don’t want to go over to the hospital again just to POAS (we don’t do blood tests here).  OH’s away till monday but I think the plan so far is to test at the weekend on my own.  The choice is between test on my own, or test when I’ll need to go straight out to work.  I’d rather have space and time to process the result (and I can always call OH).

I’m probably going on a big family day out on Saturday so that’s out as well.  None of them know this time (they did know last time, it definitely didn’t help so this time they have no idea).  Again, I don’t want to be testing and then having to leave the house straight away.  Especially as I’d then be out for a long day with no chance of sloping off for a cry if needs be.

Which leaves Sunday.  Still not ideal as I have to be at church this week (things to do!)  But that still seems the better of our less than ideal options.

So 13dp5dt it is… if I can wait that long.  If AF holds off that long – I know cyclogest will keep it away to some extent but I also know from last time that when AF really decides to turn up no amount of meds in the world will stop it.

Not feeling at all confident this time.  Having said that I’m still passing the time by checking ebay for twin prams and cots, and working out EDD….but I just don’t feel pg.

Will know soon, either way.  It’s in God’s hands, I just have to continue to trust Him.

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Day 2 of the 2ww here…. am currently 2dp5dt, having had 2x 5-day blasts transferred on Monday.  ET went well, I was v relaxed throughout and didn’t actually feel anything.

Yesterday was my last day at home and it was great.  I spent the morning reading in the garden and watching the cat sun himself then the afternoon watching old sitcoms.  I read somewhere that laughter helps implantation so it seemed worth a go.

Am back at work today after a week off and trying hard to keep the stress levels down.  Fortunately I’ve only got 2 working days then it will be a lovely 4-day weekend for Easter.  I’ll only actually have 6 working days in this 2ww…. I keep telling myself that!

So now we wait….. this part always seems a bit of an anti-climax after the endless injections, appointments, scans etc.  Now it’s just me, metformin and cyclogest, and time.

Praying hard x.

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History repeating

During our first icsi (pretty much exactly a year ago) we had 17 eggs collected, 11 were mature enough for icsi and 4 fertilised.

This time it’s exactly the same.  Just had a call from the embryologist and am very received that’s one more hurdle crossed. The plan is for a 5dt on monday…. the embies will be snuggling down in embryoscope until then.

By transfer last time we had 2 left and they were both put back. We did get a bfp but it was followed by an early m/c a week later. So am hoping and praying not everything is the same as last time.


Egg collection

17 eggs but most of them very small. They’re not sure any will be mature enough to even try to fertilise.

Feeling very disappointed and fed up….and in pain.

Praying hard that we get some good news tomorrow.


Slow and steady

ICSI #2, day 13.

Final scan this morning (thank goodness!)  EC is booked for 8am on Wednesday. Had to rush home from the hospital to do my final menopur as they wanted it to have all day to work (so was even later getting to work than planned).  Have final cetrotide at 6pm this evening, and trigger shot (pregnyl) at 8.30pm.

Injection-free day tomorrow…. what a treat!  Although I think I’d rather have injections than cyclogest.  Will be starting that again on day of EC, not looking forwward to that!  Hoping my body copes with it better than it did last time.

Today’s scan showed a few follies over the magic 18mm line on my right ovary but none on my left.  There are quite a few on both sides that are a bit smaller, so have everything crossed that they’ll have caught up by Wednesday morning.

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ICSI #2, day 6

Second scan this morning.  Went ok-ish.  Womb lining is looking good (why thank you, I grew it myself), but not much follicular activity so far.  Which is exactly the same as last time, so I’m not going to worry about it…. I clearly just have lazy ovaries that take a while to get going. 

I’m staying on 150mg menopur for now as they don’t want to over stimulate.  I had OHSS last time and that was not a barrel of laughs, so v much to be avoided this time if possible!  I also start cetrotide this evening.

Next scan is Wednesday morning, so fingers crossed there’s something going on by then.


On the way

… finally!  After months and months of various delays we are finally setting off on ICSI #2.  Had the first scan and blood tests this morning and start menopur injections this evening.  The next scan is on Monday morning.  Am really hoping I can start cetrotide that day as menopur on its own makes me very, very low.  This is not going to be a fun weekend!  Not helped by it being Mothers Day on sunday.  Have already decided to give church a miss this week and am feeling a lot calmer for knowing I won’t have to face that. 

Now I just need to get through the world’s most boring day at work so I can get home and try to remember how to actually inject.

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Here we go again… maybe!

Well, after last month’s cycle that never was, we’re round to CD1 again.  Hopefully this time the hospital have sorted out their many, many administrative ‘issues’ (that’s far more polite than I’m feeling) and we can actually start this time.  Now I just need to get hold of them to arrange a scan, then it’s fingers crossed to start stimms tomorrow.

Suddenly very nervous!

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Fingers crossed

On Friday the hospital called my OH, to arrange an appointment for him to provide a frozen sample.  He told me about this on Friday evening and was amazed that they’d called him when we haven’t yet made a decision about whether we’re going ahead with them or not.  I was more amazed about the fact that a frozen sample has never been mentioned to us!  We didn’t need one last time, and no one’s told us why we need one this time.  I need to call once they open this morning and find out what is happening.  If this is another administrative error there’s no way I’ll be able to persuade OH to go back there (and I can see his point of view).  However, if we don’t go back there isn’t anywhere else close enough so that will be us out, forever.

So I now have everything crossed that, for some unknown reason, we do actually need a frozen sample.  Am almost too scared to call them.

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